Saturday, August 8, 2015

The Theory of Everything is Brilliant!

The Theory of Everything
Released: November 17, 2014

Drama, limited release
Not Rated; 2 hrs 3 mins

Directed: James Marsh

Eddie Redmayne, Felicity Jones

When I rented this from the Box, I knew I would have a hard time watching this flick. Seeing someone in a wheelchair, dying of Lou Gehrig's disease, is painful to take in. I knew little of Stephen Hawking other than he is a brilliant man. I wanted this flick to be a documentary of his life and I didn't get it. What I got was a sensitive, brilliant, story of a genius, his wife, and family during a difficult time in the 60's. Jane Wilde, played by Felicity Jones, is equally as brilliant, with Redmayne, who won the Oscar for best actor. Critics need to understand that Hawking's story is still fluid and its hard to bring this man's contribution to mankind in two hours. We know Hawking is a smart man, but Marsh wants us to focus on Jane's relationship with Hawking and how she coped with his disease. Marsh accomplishes his goal in a tantalizing fashion. If released again in the theater, I would see it...again! The Theory of Everything is convincing and desirable portrait of a genius!

Depp Strikes Mortdecai

Released: January 23, 2015

Rated R: Comedy, Adventure, Action
1 hr  49 minutes

Directed: David Koepp

Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow, Olivia Munn, Jeff Goldblum, Ewan McGregor

 After watching the disaster 'Get Hard' and 10 hours of the Marx Brothers, I plugged this flick called Mortdecai. Let me say upfront, I was privy to the glamorous reviews Mortdecai received...yes I'm being facetious! My friends at Rotten Tomatoes, Flixster, and critics all around the world aren't kind to Mr. Koepp, Depp, and the rest. A play on Sherlock Holmes, Chief Inspector Jacques Clouseau/Pink Panther fame, and Benny Hill. When Depp hit the screen, the first person that came to mind was Peter Sellers...and I thought this flick was funny! Of course after watching the debacle of Ferrell/Hart anything flick would be a hoot!

Mortdecai, played by Depp, is an art thief who has fallen on hard times and owes the Queen millions in back taxes. His wife, played by Gwyneth Paltrow, are forced to sell their fortunes to pay back the debt, but Mortdecai refuses. A famous painting comes up missing and a Scotland Yard Detective, played by Ewan McGregor, solicits Mortdecai to find the painting.

The best actor on the flick is Paul Bettany, who plays Jack, Depp's bodyguard, side kick, and British gigolo to all beautiful women! Bettany is your typical GI Joe Doll and Stretch Armstrong...takes a beating but not by the bad guys, by Mortdecai himself! Shot three times during the flick, he remains loyal to his boss and saves the day at the end. Toss the horrid reviews aside, spend two hours and see if you get a good laugh...could be could watch 'Get Hard'.....

Get Soft!

 Get Hard
Released: March 27, 2015

Starring: Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell
Rated R: Comedy, 1hr 39 Mins.

What do you expect from two funny men? This plot was made for Will Ferrell and Kevin Hart, but all we get is a juvenile mess with stereotypical play on race, rape and sex. You go into this one wanting to laugh your ass of, but zero execution by Ferrell. Ferrell appears bored and  resigning to the fact his career has succumb to an abyss of failure.

Are the days of Anchor Man gone? Kevin Hart tries to hold this homophobic dump together, but receives no help from Ferrell. I made the mistake of Redboxing this one instead of waiting for R1G14F and I regret it. This flick is just plain stupid! After watching this horrid wretch, I plugged into 10 hours of the Marx Brothers...that Harpo is a hoot!

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Inside Out is IN!!!

Released: June 19, 2015

Rated PG-Animation/Family

Directed: Cynthia Slavens

Cast: Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling, Phyllis Smith, Bill Hader, Lewis Black

Is this flick an animation...a cartoon? Yes! Pixar flick again, all characters look the same...Yes! Brilliant plot, funny, and a down right good time by one and all...YES! Inside Out is a great movie. Kids, adults, cats and dogs...chicken and hogs alike will love this flick! Go see it and STICK AROUND FOR THE ENDING CREDITS! This movie is a keeper! 

Sunday, June 14, 2015

A Jurassic Mess....

Jurassic World
Release Date: June 12, 2015
PG, Adventure, Action
Director: Colin Trevorrow

Cast: Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard, Ty Simpkins, Vincent D'Onofrio, CGI Monsters!

Houston, we have a mess! We have seen this before, right? Has it been that long for a remake of Jurassic Park? People of the world must have an appetite for rogue, computer generated dinosaurs to eat other computer generated carnivores and yes people who are not computer generated!  This two hour mixture of Indiana Jones, Jaws, Deep Blue Sea, Godzilla, and Aliens versus predators is a complete befuddlement and I was left asking why? The Plot...the park opens, the dinosaur gets loose, he eats people and is killed at the end....park closes, law suits are filed, survivors go on talk shows, yada yada yada. We knew this going in and yet the theater is packed...with screaming kids who are terrified and old men intoxicated and snoring throughout. The cast is awful! They don't mesh and the attempt of humor in the beginning fall on deaf ears. I didn't care if they all got wiped out, the cast sleep walks through their lines, but yet demands attention! Yes, the first hour was a snooze fest...awful in fact I almost left to sneak into Insidious 3...but I stayed...The second half, AWESOME! Completely unpredictable and a saving grace of the $5.75 ticket price in fact! I was waiting for it and I was fooled big time! Brilliant in fact was the plot that I could have done without the ending, which was predictable as get out...and yes...another sequel coming soon....No matter what the reviews, you will see I did...and enjoy I did...Go see it at a matinee.... 

Saturday, June 6, 2015

I Think I Peed in My Pants!

Released: June 5, 2015
Rated R; Action/Adventure

Director: Paul Feig

Cast: Melissa McCarthy, Jude Law, Jason Statham, Rose Byrne, Allison Janney, Curtis Jackson, 50 Cent, Morena Baccarin, Miranda Hart, Bobby Cannavale

This is the first flick in a long time I was laughing in the lobby! I saw the movie poster and I literally could not stop laughing. I will say upfront the casting director, Zsolt Csutak, deserves a freaking Oscar for compiling this cast for "Spy." Folks, this flick is freaking hilarious! McCarthy is a genius in the role of a desk jockey CIA agent burning the ear off of head agent Bradley Fine, played by Jude law. The object is to keep a nuclear bomb out of the hands of the bad guys and it goes UP and DOWN and UP from there! What a ride! You get no more from me! Go to the theater, pay the money, buy the corn and the poison, and be ready to laugh your ass off! 

Is It Following You...

It Follows

Released: March 15, 2015
R | 1 hr 40 min
Drama, Horror

Director: David Robert Mitchell

Cast: Maika Monroe, Keir Gilchrist, Daniel Zovatto, Jake Weary, Olivia Luccardi, Lili Sepe

Within 30 seconds of this flick starting, I knew we were in trouble! I felt like Michael Myers was sitting behind me ready to chop my head off! "It Follows" is masterful in scaring the crap out of you, but not in the Jason Voorhees way! Be careful who you sleep with because it's not AIDS or a STD that follows, it's a creepy curse that follows you and it wants to kill you! Jay, played by the exquisite Maika Monroe, has sex and receives the curse from her donor. The curse follows her wanting to kill and if successful, will follow and kill the donors before her! Every scene is intense, plotting, and the music by Rich Vreeland reminds me of the old horror flicks past. The ending will leave you wanting more and we can only hope!  Rent this NOW and see it with a friend...but NO SEX..It Follows!

Friday, May 29, 2015

No Fred or Ethel Here...

Released: July 25, 2014
Rated R; 1 hr 28 mins
Action, Thriller, Suspense
Director: Luc Besson

Cast: Scarlett Johansson, Morgan Freeman, Choi Min-sik

"Lucy" the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions, a masterpiece in babeness kicking mortal ass! What better way to spend 90 minutes watching Scarlett Johansson whipping the mortal man in this faster than fast pace action flick. Lucy is coerced into delivering a top secret drug, but is caught in the process and is turned into a drug mule. The synthetic drug explodes in her stomach which gives Lucy supernatural powers! Brain power is key here and Lucy seeks help from a well known doc played by Morgan Freeman...yes he is still alive! Lucy needs to transform back before her brain reaches 100% full potential thus killing her...all while being chased by the drug lords who....want to kill her...Yes this movie makes no sense. Who cares! The fight scenes are to die for! Great pick up at the box...well worth the rental!!!

Are You a Seventh Son?

Released: February 6, 2015
Rated; PG-13
Action, Adventure
Director: Sergei Bodrov

Cast: Jeff Bridges, Ben Barnes, Julianne Moore, Alicia Vikander

In a land, far far away...Ok I tried! We have witchcraft, ghosts, the supernatural, and one heck of a cast! It ends there! Seventh Son is a flick where Mother Malkin, played by Julianne Moore, is a bad witch. Malkin is held captive in a watering hole only to escape and seek out "Master Gregory" played by Jeff Bridges. Master Gregory keeps losing his sidekicks and seeks the seventh son of a seventh son of a seventh son and on and on and on! Dang people, use some protection why don't you! Bridges reminds me of a drunken Nick Nolte, a blundering, mumbling performance. Why in the hell Julianne Moore took this role is beyond me, other than the $$. This flick is fast pace, but stale and boring. Graphics are decent and the make-up earns it a star...get it as a bonus/free rental from Redbox. Don't pay for this flick... wait for it on the boob tube!

Aliens Understand English....

Released: August 14, 2009
Rated R, 1 hr 51 mins
Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Fantasy
Director: Neill Blomkamp

Cast: Sharlto Copley, Jason Cope, David James, Vanessa Haywood

First off, I feel asleep during this flashback-flashback! Not sure why since the majority loved this cracker jack of a flick. District 9 cost over 30 million to make and was filmed in Chiawelo, Soweto. Amazingly I have no clue where Chiawelo is....and why D9 made over $210,819,205. Ok, I looked it up, Chiawelo is in South Africa which is why an alien ship hovers over Johannesburg. The ship is invested with sickening, ugly creatures called "Prawns". As you can expect, the government relocates the prawns from the ship to the city and all hell breaks loose, for 28 years! Inter-alien relations, alien STDs, cat food buffets, and slobbering liquid flowing from the alien's 'beards' ???? Why did critics like this again?

I believe it's due to the originality of a plot that's been around for ages. Aliens coming to earth to create havoc. District 9 doesn't have that "robot" feel to it which allows for a gripping feel to it...a sense of urgency. I hit the rewind button after waking up...and I was back into full force. District 9 delivers a trashy, somewhat funny, and mind blowing visual effects to receive a thumbs up for a decent rental. Redbox still has it in the kiosk as we speak...or type! Grab it there or at your local video store...

Thursday, May 28, 2015


Just six months until the release of "Star Wars 7: The Force Awakens", we decided to revisit the six episodes from the past. Take a look at the posters above and you see one of the episodes missing. Yes, it's the first one and rated the worse of the six. Even George Lucas himself stated it really has nothing to do with the series. With that being said, experts suggest watching the series again in this order: IV, V, II, III, and VI. Pick-A-Flick is positive a local theater near you will have a Star Wars movie-thon culminating with the release of VII. Cheers!

Star Wars 7: "The Force Awakens"

Release date: December 18, 2015 (USA)

Director: J.J. Abrams

Film series: Star Wars

Music composed by: John Williams

Cast: Mark Hamill, Daisy Ridley, Carrie Fisher, Harrison Ford, Adam Driver, Peter Mayhew

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Are We Living This Now?


Released: May 22, 2015
PG , 2 hr 10 min
Director: Brad Bird

Cast:  Britt Robertson, George Clooney, Hugh Laurie, Raffey Cassidy

It befuddles me how professional critics can be split on any one movie. Don't read the reviews for this flick cause there is no consensus, a 50/50 split and that's disappointing! A cluster of CGI with no direction or the best thing since sliced bread? Truth be told, it could be the average performance of Clooney or Laurie and why they are given top billing is equally befuddling! Casey, played by Britt Robertson deserves that recognition. Robertson carries this role and she alone is the reason you should see this flick. Bird and I guess Clooney uses the two hours to teach or preach the world is coming to an end and action is needed before it's too late. Tomorrowland is visually stunning, humorous, and leaves it's true meaning to your imagination.

Mad Max is FURIOUS!

Mad Max: Fury Road
Released: May 15, 2015
Rated R, 2 hr 
Director:  George Miller

Cast: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron

Trying to explain this fine flick is like peeling an onion with your eyelids! Not a remake of the first Mad Max staring Mel Gibson, just a fast pace, action, violent killing field. This flick is a graphic marvel with the best action scenes, yes better than the Avengers! Mad Max is two hours long and I believe only 45 seconds consisted of "down time". Tom Hardy is out freaking standing along with Charlize Theron who takes the lead in every scene. Trying to predict the action is a complete waste of time and I highly recommend you go to the potty and grab that bucket of corn before this flick starts. Go see this flick, you will not be disappointed!

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Closets Are Bad...Okaaaay!

Original: 1982
Remake: May 22, 2015
PG-13 , 1 hr 33 min
Director: Gil Kenan

Cast: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Kyle Catlett, Saxon Sharbino, Kennedi Clements, Jared Harris, Jane Adams

They're here! Sneak Preview in a theater that holds hundreds. The flick officially comes out tomorrow, but I jumped the gun...with eight other people!!! Regret, yes...but the burger and beer at Kick Back Jacks was awesome! Why do people keep looking under the bed and in closets...the boogie man is there, right? The remake of Poltergeist was eagerly awaited by this novice and I can't but think we need to leave the originals alone.

The Bowen Family, broken and jobless, find themselves in a $200,000 house with the freaky tree in the yard, close to the upstairs window mind you...and yes clowns! Lots of clown dolls...too many clowns. I hate clowns now, especially ones with pull strings. Poltergeist starts off slow in getting to the point and we have nice big closets with big HDTV's and smart phones for the "evil" to come through via the power lines...and it doesn't help the entire housing development is built on an old cemetery! The action picks up with awesome looking poltergeist, dead people, and ghosts who grab little Maddie Bowen (played by Kennedi Clements) through the portal in the closet...stay out of the closet people! Clements is excellent in this flick and keeps it together with duct tape. Rosemarie DeWitt is equally as good playing the mother role with her son played by Kyle Catlett. Catlett, sadly, is the best male actor in the group and the tree scene is priceless!

But the duct tape begins to peel off when the family seeks the help of one "Carrigan" played by Jared Harris who is down right awful! Harris enters as the savior...the keeper of the key and one to save the Bowens from the evil entity! Harris has that Irish, over sized leprechaun look to him who reminds me of that annoying dude on the Scott Seed commercial. Harris doesn't fit it, his comical one liners are flat...well it's a horror flick and the "Jaws" reference is ridiculous! Carrigan spends ten minutes of the flick explaining old ghost wounds, just like Quint did in Jaws and I shook my head in awe. Sam Rockwell, Mr. Bowen, doesn't mustard any excitement and sleep walks through a sub par performance.

The graphics, the music, the plot, the poltergeists are visually excellent. The poor acting and casting ruin this flick! Stick to the original and save this flick for a freebie at the Red box or wait for it on the telly!


Pitching A No Hitter!

Pitch Perfect 2
Released: May 15, 2015
PG-13, Comedy 1hr 55 mins
Director: Elizabeth Banks

Cast: Anna Kendrick, Skylar Astin, Ben Platt, Brittany Snow, Anna Camp, Rebel Wilson, Alexis Knapp, Adam DeVine, and the Green bay Packers!

Ok I have to admit I was looking for a repeat in this sequel. And I was right...the plot is the same. First we had vomiting and the second we have, well...another crisis (I will not spoil this for you). A fight to get back to the finals, meaning the world championship of acapella! Blah, Blah, Blah...same ole same ole. Not so fast you ridiculous movie reviewer! This flick is FUNNY!!! Banks pulls it off! Sequels usually fall short, PP2 is better than its mother! The one liners, the gorgeous pitches, and yes Bumper is back...he wants some Fat Amy!!!

And when you add in the Green Bay Packers, Katey Sagal, Keegan Michael-Key, David Cross (Chipmunk Fame) and John & Gail (John Michael Higgins and Elizabeth Banks) the funny ass announcers...this flick takes off and never lands. PP2 is a newer version of the Revenge of the Nerds, competing against the militaristic Das Sound Machine! 

Great singing, great dancing, and it left yet more room for three peat. See the original, pay the money and see this will not be disappointed...and dont try to remember the one liners, there are way too many! Bravo Banks!

Monday, May 18, 2015

Pitch is Perfect!

Pitch Perfect
Released: September 28, 2012
PG-13, Comedy
Director: Jason Moore

Cast:  Anna Kendrick, Skylar Astin, Ben Platt, Brittany Snow, Anna Camp, Rebel Wilson, Alexis Knapp

Time for another sequel, this time it's a comedy from 2012. Pitch Perfect II is set for release this Friday so we decided to visit the original! Any reference to the Breakfast Club receives an immediate "thumbs up" and PP doesn't disappoint one bit! Classified as a comedy, and it is, but more so a great musical as acapella groups from across the college nation compete for a national championship! I laughed my ass off, sang throughout, suffered no dull moments, all while keeping my manhood intact! I'm in touch with my feminine side ya know!

Nearly two hours long, I wanted more and closing scene suggested more to come...and it's arrived with the aforementioned sequel above. Fat Amy, played by Rebel Wilson, played her usual overweight sidekick to the group called the "Barden Bells" who fight from obscurity and old, boring songs to win the title lost the previous school year.

This is not a Glee two hour movie! Anna Kendrick plays Becca like a drum and it doesn't hurt she is down right sexy, yummy, and howls like a champ! The vomit scenes are classic and you did not see this coming...literally! We hope PP2 is just as exciting, funny, with crazy, fast paced plots! We will watch and review PP2 this weekend so stay tuned!

Thursday, May 14, 2015

Dallas Buyers Club

Released: November 1, 2013
R , 1 hr 57 min

Director: Jean-Marc Vallée

Cast: Matthew McConaughey, Jared Leto, Jennifer Garner, Dallas Roberts

The Dallas Buyers Club is a true flick about Ron Woodroof, a playboy who contracts HIV/Aids in the mid 80's. Matthew McConaughey who plays Woodroof is masterful in the role which is why he won the Oscar for best actor. His business partner is played by Jared Leto who won an Oscar for best supporting actor. Woodroof starts a buyers club where drugs is bought on the black market and sold to Aids patients for a "club" fee. The feds, particularly the IRS and FDA, don't care for Woodroof making money and dealing drugs even though most are just vitamins. DBC is a good movie, not great. Jennifer Garner is amazingly quiet throughout and doesn't fit the role of a doctor. Her performance was just "blah", but Leto and McConaughey carry this flick to a predictable end. Well worth the Red box rental or Netflix.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Insidious Flicks!

Released: April 1, 2011
PG13, 1 hr 42 min

Insidious 2
Released: September 13, 2013
PG13, 1 hr 45 min

Director for both: James Wan

Cast:Patrick Wilson, Rose Byrne, Lin Shaye, Ty Simpkins, Barbara Hershey

As we wait for the second prequel, Insidious 3, we allow ourselves to review two movies under one heading? Can we? You damn skippy we can! Because these are identical in nature, shameful to call it a sequel by any stretch.

Ruining the original is a sin, but it happens...just ask Jason, Michael Myers, Freddie and so on. Insidious is no different. Two years apart are these two which centers on a family of five who have moved into a sweet looking house..kinda reminds me of the Amityville Horror house.

Director James Wan has a unique way of scaring the bejesus out of ya and the first flick doesn't disappoint! The Lambert family is targeted with supernatural villains, who put the oldest son in a haunted coma! The remaining family members are riddled with assaults and visions of the dead and the hubby is, of course, acting like nothing is wrong. The misses says "Oh Hell No...get up off your ass and save us!"

The hubby breaks down and moves the family to another house, but the ghosts follow along. The wifey calls in the paranormal investigators who are comical to say the least and fit right in this spook fest!Two geeks and an old broad who knows way too much about 'the other side.'

We are left with a happy ending or so it seems...thus Insidious 2 continues with the same story and nothing changes, except less karma, less scaring, less everything! A complete bore which came close of getting the "exit stage right" click on the Netflix remote.

Insidious, the original is worth the rental, but stay away from the sequel unless you get it for free. Insidious 3 pre dates the Lambert family so this could be a redemption...this time without James Wan!

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

"The Remaining"

Released: September 5, 2014
PG-13 , 1 hr 23 min

Cast: Alexa Vega, Shaun Sipos, Johnny Pacar, Italia Ricci, Bryan Dechart, Liz E. Morgan, John Pyper-Ferguson

The rapture is upon us in this name actors gives it a push during the slower parts..creative editing and monster scenes leave you on edge...this is a hard take on what's to come in the world...God truly turns his back on the non believers in this one...and if it's true, then start repenting....its gets ugly over the 7 years....I wouldn't want to be around when it comes...well worth the Red Box fee..

"Wild" is Wild!!

Released: December 5, 2014
R , 1 hr 55 min

Cast: Reese Whitherspoon, Thomas Sadoski, Michiel Huisman, W. Earl Brown, Gaby Hoffmann! Great performance by Reese Whitherspoon in this..fantastic writing and the flashbacks keep it fresh and inciting...she is what she is in this...a drug induced slut who sleeps with everything that moves but she is ok with it...the path toward righteousness and dealing with her mother's death is reached when the trail is complete...she crosses over from the pain and anguish! A must see and one of the best movies of 2014... Critics and viewers agree...

The Town that Dreaded Sundown.....

Released: 2014
R , 1 hr 25 min

Director: Charles B. Pierce

Cast: Ben Johnson, Andrew Prine, Dawn Wells, Jimmy Clem, Charles B. Pierce, Cindy Butler

Yes Jason is back and he is pissed! Just kidding. Picking up after the 1976 film, the Phantom returns to "wack a mole" every sex craved couple in Texarkana. Wearing a burlap sack, armed with knives, a gun with silencer, and yes...a trombone! (Best scene of the flick)....The original movie is based loosely on true events from 1946 where several were slashed up...these unsolved murders are reinvented in this movie. A Texas Ranger is called in to run the investigation, but all he does is eat. If you intend on having sex, you may wanna look outside first!!! Only one is left at the end...and you can guess who that is...great story and not a sequel! worth the hour and half ...if your deciding between this or watching "The View"......Netflix Streaming

Call off Hot Pursuit!

Released: May 8, 2015
PG-13 , 1 hr 27 min

Director:Anne Fletcher

Cast: Reese Witherspoon, Sofía Vergara, John Carroll Lynch, Richard T. Jones, Rob Kazinsky

"Hot Pursuit" ....Laugh meter was cranked up on this one, but only mustarded a six...meaning a half dozen throughout. Officer Cooper played by Reese Whitherspoon, is a dedicated, by the book cop who is demoted to desk duty for tasing the mayor's son who caught on fire during the incident. She is later assigned to guard the wife of a drug dealer, Daniella Riva played bu Sofia Vergara. Reese Whitherspoon's effort is wasted on her co-part Sofia Vergara's awful performance...The two dont mesh and appear uncomfortable together. T&A cant save it, sorry!!!! The plot is decent and entertaining, but is wasted on parts. I work with a lot of "Coopers" so I recommend my police buddies to check out the cool tasings...but only as a freebie from Redbox or on the Flix.....

Selma is Worth the Bill

Released: December 25, 2014
PG-13 , 2 hr 8 min
Drama/Historical Event

Directed by: Ava DuVernay

Cast: David Oyelowo, Oprah Winfrey, Tom Wilkinson, Common, Cuba Gooding Jr.

If you don't the history of Martin Luther King Jr. you should be ashamed. No reason to repeat it here, just watch this sizzling flick! A good movie...David Oyelowo is riveting as MLK, superb performance. You see King's frustrations and doubts through Oyelowo. I love the interaction between MLK, LBJ, and George Wallace in this...yes a little dull in parts but overall a winner!!!

"Child 44" is a Train Wreck!

Released Date: April 17, 2015
Rated R,  2 hr 17 min
Director: Daniel Espinosa

Cast: Tom Hardy, Gary Oldman, Noomi Rapace, Joel Kinnaman, Jason Clarke, Vincent Cassel, Paddy Considine

I feel like someone just dumped a bucket of ice water on me while I've been sleeping. We have trains here and a lot of them which ends this non blockbuster in a massive train wreck. Based on the book by Tom Rob Smith, this thriller is based in the year 1958 and mother Russia... and was 2 1/2 hours long. And endless story which started off lost in obscurity. Leo Demidov, played by Tom Hardy, is a war hero who later is jailed and demoted for not turning his wife in as a spy. The pair are exiled where they go on a hunt for a child serial killer and a government cover up of orphans. Gary Oldman has a cameo appearance and even he cant save this one, which is riddled with poor Russian accents played by non Russian actors. Thus you get garbled words and miss-interpretation of key phrases leaving you saying, “Huh, Whaa”. The lady behind me kept laughing throughout this debacle, which freaked me because I think she is the serial killer! The short fight scene in the mud is by far the best action in the flick. This is a violent movie so leave the kids at home. If you have a choice between "Child 44" and watching paint dry, I would flip a coin.