Thursday, May 21, 2015

Closets Are Bad...Okaaaay!


Original: 1982
Remake: May 22, 2015
PG-13 , 1 hr 33 min
Horror
Director: Gil Kenan


Cast: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Kyle Catlett, Saxon Sharbino, Kennedi Clements, Jared Harris, Jane Adams



They're here! Sneak Preview in a theater that holds hundreds. The flick officially comes out tomorrow, but I jumped the gun...with eight other people!!! Regret, yes...but the burger and beer at Kick Back Jacks was awesome! Why do people keep looking under the bed and in closets...the boogie man is there, right? The remake of Poltergeist was eagerly awaited by this novice and I can't but think we need to leave the originals alone.

The Bowen Family, broken and jobless, find themselves in a $200,000 house with the freaky tree in the yard, close to the upstairs window mind you...and yes clowns! Lots of clown dolls...too many clowns. I hate clowns now, especially ones with pull strings. Poltergeist starts off slow in getting to the point and we have nice big closets with big HDTV's and smart phones for the "evil" to come through via the power lines...and it doesn't help the entire housing development is built on an old cemetery! The action picks up with awesome looking poltergeist, dead people, and ghosts who grab little Maddie Bowen (played by Kennedi Clements) through the portal in the closet...stay out of the closet people! Clements is excellent in this flick and keeps it together with duct tape. Rosemarie DeWitt is equally as good playing the mother role with her son played by Kyle Catlett. Catlett, sadly, is the best male actor in the group and the tree scene is priceless!

But the duct tape begins to peel off when the family seeks the help of one "Carrigan" played by Jared Harris who is down right awful! Harris enters as the savior...the keeper of the key and one to save the Bowens from the evil entity! Harris has that Irish, over sized leprechaun look to him who reminds me of that annoying dude on the Scott Seed commercial. Harris doesn't fit it, his comical one liners are flat...well it's a horror flick and the "Jaws" reference is ridiculous! Carrigan spends ten minutes of the flick explaining old ghost wounds, just like Quint did in Jaws and I shook my head in awe. Sam Rockwell, Mr. Bowen, doesn't mustard any excitement and sleep walks through a sub par performance.

The graphics, the music, the plot, the poltergeists are visually excellent. The poor acting and casting ruin this flick! Stick to the original and save this flick for a freebie at the Red box or wait for it on the telly!


C- or 2 stars...


         

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